What I learneded

North American toilets have far too much water in them.

US sales/hospitality workers are, in general, far too chipper. Seriously, it's disturbing.

In the US, jeans are cheaper than t-shirts. And the t-shirts are usually see-through and reach down to your knees.

Portland, Oregon, has managed to implement and maintain a free city tram service. Are you listening, Melbourne?

• Canada has more water and hydro-electricity than it can use.
  
• Canada has frequent power black-outs during thunder and snow storms.
  
• Canada is incredibly slow to restore hydro-electricity and therefore running water.
  
• Canada has a limited sense of irony.
  

There is a depanneur in Buckingham that smells like Clifford uses it as a bathroom. But it's not apparently bad for business.

Supermarkets in North America are sometimes so huge that they need to include bathrooms and slushie stations for their customers. What's next? A reading lounge? Free massage booths?

There are many wrought-iron external stairwells in Montréal. Oh, it's famous for them?

North Americans overall have a disturbingly low understanding of the dangers of UV rays and use very little sun protection. Admittedly it's a very different sun: I spent an entire day outside in full sunlight, unprotected, and ended up with the same amount of sunburn that would take 30 minutes in Australia. On the day we arrived home, the sun peeked out from behind a cloud and I could feel my face sizzle. What a wake-up call. But North Americans are too complacent with their subtler sun. The UV danger is still there even if the heat is not...

Montréal has an underground city. For shopping!

For every fast food outlet in Australia, there are 17 in the US.

In the US, tabloid news is far more important than, say, catching an international flight.

North Americans have become so dependant on the combination of peanut butter and chocolate that very few of them can digest either ingredient separately.

The US has released a souvenir coin which features a 2-D representation of the Twin Towers on a hinge so you can stand it up when the coin lies flat. The representation is made out of silver that was found under Ground Zero. Don't believe it? Well, you get a certificate of authenticity when you buy the coin. Only $US29.99.

Even resorts at Lake Tahoe have crapness - Cheryl and Richard scored a giant bedroom with a queen bed (?) and a balcony with a great view; Steph and Rob scored a big bedroom with a double bed and an en suite bathroom. What was generously left for Kev and I? A dogbox of a room with a high window with broken blinds that let in just enough light to hit my face at 8am. Could I escape the offending beam? No, because our bed was in fact beds - two crappy singles that we tried to push together, but the thick frame left us with an awkward gap that could not be bridged. So to get out of the way of the beam I would have had to climb completely over to Kev's bed, and I didn't want to disrupt whatever sleep he had managed to claim in this uncomfortable situation. Crapness.

Lake Tahoe geese are very clever. We had one backed into a corner and it still managed to swim around us. Maybe we're just crap paddle-boaters.

The coolest pet store I've ever seen is in Montréal, in Fairfield (?). I will return.

Melbourne Airport is the best airport ever. Portland is ok. LAX should be the next target of terrorism if they have a sense of good taste.

Australian Qantas employees are the friendliest and smartest in their industry. American Qantas employees have as much brain activity as Pepsi Max.

My DNA is lacking the "tourism" gene. My holiday enjoyment is based on people, not places. Warm weather helps, but a stunning blue lake surrounded by snow-capped mountains? Fneh.

I like it when people comment on my blog. It's nice to know you have readers.

I might add more later. So much learning, so little time.

(Disclaimer: some of the above statements may by exaggerated for dramatic effect. The skin cancer awareness statement is not exaggerated. Wake up, North America.)